so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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