Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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