I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
