do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
