Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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