I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize