So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
