I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story