For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
