Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
