Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
