He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
