We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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