Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
