You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
