Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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