If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
