i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
