let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just forgot I was standing up.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
