Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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