sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
