You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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