It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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