...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
