took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize