I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think i have two assholes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
