So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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