3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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