Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
