ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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