3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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