Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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