The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
