Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I am naked and annoyed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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