What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
