never play flip cup with pint glasses
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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