I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize