Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
