They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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