Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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