i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
40s are totally the cure
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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