Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
