she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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