i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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