Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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