I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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