Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.