I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.