one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.