Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
