It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
