I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
