are you still at the devil's house?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
