season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
